From A Mom Who Hates To Clean

I am convinced that I am the clumsiest, most chaotic, scatterbrained, MESSY, hot-mess mom that ever walked the earth.  I don’t notice mess even when it falls out of the over-stuffed closet and smacks me right in the head. I mean, it’s so bad that my husband’s nickname for me is Lady Squalor. How sweet, right? It’s not that I don’t like having a clean, organized house, it’s more that I LOATHE cleaning. If feels like such a waste of time, especially with two toddlers causing destruction at every turn.

insanity

However, this year I’m trying to be intentional about stewarding the gifts that God has blessed me with better and my house is definitely a gift. So, with spring around the corner, I’ve decided to take this spring cleaning thing seriously.  Here are some things I plan on implementing:

Become an underachiever.

When I think about cleaning my house, immediately I get overwhelmed and SPOILER: I don’t do it. There’s just so much to do and those days of spending a Saturday morning knocking out all of the chores uninterrupted with the tunes cranked were over the day I became a mom. So, I’ve found that I need to think small. Instead of thinking of the whole house or even trying to focus on one room, I’m going to try just focusing on one task. In my mind, it will be faster to go from room to room doing one task vs. going from task to task in one room. Maybe I’ll even set a timer. I can do anything for 30 10 minutes, right?

I’m also going to prioritize. No, the baseboards don’t need to be immediately swept, vacuumed… whatever (how do you clean baseboards again?) but the yogurt my daughter just smeared all over the kitchen and living room should probably be wiped up before my playdate arrives.

bonus-advice

Treat yo self.

I admit it: I am not above bribery. If my husband promises me a date night or heck, even a bag of pizza rolls, you can bet your bottom I’m going to get that laundry folded and put away. Cleaning sucks so I’m going to start rewarding myself for doing something that sucks (Hi, my name is Sarah and I am a millennial).  It doesn’t have to be big or edible (I don’t want to end up with a clean house and an extra 40lbs). Mop the floors- buy a new lipstick.  Clean the stove- catch up on Grey’s Anatomy. Iron the husband’s work shirts- take a bubble bath. Or if I’m really feeling desperate, I could turn cleaning into a drinking game. Tequila shots anyone?

Let The Purge Commence.

I have way too much stuff.  Like, WAY too much stuff. I’ve decided to use this quote by William Morris as my new motto:

useful-or-beautiful-2

My mom always tells me “if you haven’t used it/worn it/played with it in the last year, get rid of it!” Which I think is good advice but what she didn’t tell me is why. My reasoning? Because the less stuff you have, the faster you’ll be done putting it all away. So, unless the item in question has been useful to me in the past year, or I find it beautiful, it has got to go! My sister wrote a blog on how I can even make money off of my de-cluttering abilities! How’s that for motivation?! Honestly, I will probably need God’s help letting go especially because I’m a sentimental sap and have been known to save dumb stuff like used plastic knives and old t-shirts that don’t fit because of some semi-fond memory.

Truthfully, I am shocked at how quickly our family of 4 can turn our house into a scene from Hoarders, but something has to change if I want to maintain my sanity and save my house from totally disappearing under a mountain of laundry and dirty dishes.  I hope these tips, once implemented, will be a turning point in my struggle to honor God with how I take care of my home.  Please, ask me how I’m doing… tomorrow.

Yours truly,

Lady Squalor

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